Facebook Terms of Service

A hysterical translation of Facebook’s terms of service from legalese to vernacular provided by Slacktory (see Play Nice, B*tches, ht Gene).

The Entire Facebook Terms of Service in Bro Speak

The Facebook Terms of Service is a b*tch to read. So we translated it into a more familiar vernacular (with a lot of swearing). You can also read it in parts. Everything from here on out is from Facebook. Kinda.

We use English, b*tches. Yeah, we translated it for some of you, but if the translation says anything different at all, English rules. So if you’re not reading this in English, technically none of it matters. Just FYI. Also, you foreigners should check out section 16, f*cking stat.

We last f*cked with this: April 26, 2011.

Statement of Rights and Responsibilities

All these rules are based on some other rules we have that aren’t really rules so much as guidelines. These rules, though, are the real rules, and they say what you can and can’t do on Facebook, and what we can and can’t do with your sh*t.  We treat your use of Facebook exactly like college athletes treat silence – consent, motherf*ckers.

1. Privacy

We give lots of f*cks about your privacy, so we wrote this. Read it, so you know what the f*ck we’re going to do with the sh*t you post, so you’re not all “Facebook, I had no idea!” when your sh*t is in our press releases. That way you know the deal when you’re deciding what to post. Next: Sharing your shit. »..continue reading

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